Scar Tissue

Scar Tissue

I weigh my heart twice a day,

feed it green tea every morning

and at night, a hot bath

to soak these solemn thoughts

in lavender and rose petals.

Light a candle

to satisfy its thirst with melting wax

until, drunk on hope,

together we collapse under a canopy of stars.

A night sky spun into a spider’s web;

catching my dreams and disturbing my sleep

with air so drenched in expectation

I forget to breathe.

I weigh my heart twice a day,

slice it open, a live dissection.

Locate the source of the heaviness just off centre,

in the space I saved to keep someone else happy

somewhere they never chose to stay.

What I Owe To No One

What I Owe To No One

This might be a year of firsts;

the year I learn not to shrink

into a space neatly prepared for my heart

since I am a privilege

and not a ‘one size fits all’,

that even good things can fall away

and words left unsaid

are a bottled scent left on the doorstep,

a perfume I can’t wear anymore,

pick my power up off the floor,

feed on its potential,

adore myself.

I Should Have A PHD In Cartography

I Should Have A PHD In Cartography

Half the world away, these hands grasp

at a sense of home that you don’t want to leave

but I don’t want to stay

in love with a revolving door

and my heart has crept back up my sleeve,

bleeding freedom from palms

to the tips of these fingers,

each drip is art on canvas

mapping out the miles my wild will takes

in a different direction to yours.

Dream Catch Her

Dream Catch Her

“What are men to rocks and mountains?”

The disillusioned know

“we do not suffer by accident”.

So damn these feet, damn unsteadiness

from these damn dreams falling through your damn arms,

I’ll be damned if this is nostalgia,

damn these losses, damn this love so wrong

to love myself through blind corners,

damn laughter, damn sleep,

damn fantasy, damn control,

I want both

I miss it all.