What I Owe To No One

What I Owe To No One

This might be a year of firsts;

the year I learn not to shrink

into a space neatly prepared for my heart

since I am a privilege

and not a ‘one size fits all’,

that even good things can fall away

and words left unsaid

are a bottled scent left on the doorstep,

a perfume I can’t wear anymore,

pick my power up off the floor,

feed on its potential,

adore myself.

(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction

(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction

This is the last time

you will curse me

with your words,

break my spirit

till I cannot lift

myself up from the dirt.

This is the last time

you hand me

all your pain,

so heavy I sit on

and take the hit from

the shards of your grenade.

This is the last time

your grip

constricts my voice,

lungs without air

my words rot in there

since you took away my choice.

This was the last time

you tried to convince me

of your lies

that I should feel shame,

so I’ve poured petrol and doused us in flames

because men burn

but witches survive.

Suffocation Liberation

Suffocation Liberation

In moments of brief clarity

I come to see

what life could feel like

if I could just be

free

of all this crap in my head

that tells me

I’m not worthy

of the breath in my lungs

and the natural beauty

of my body

so, thus quiets my voice

since, if anything,

my past experiences

make me think I have no choice

no matter how much I fight

because karma

doesn’t give a shit

who is right

it still throws you off the plane

at a height

and expects you to fly,

hence the saying

‘live and let die’

but I want this life

to be lived to the full

of all that’s uncomfortable

and of the joyful

because I will not settle

for the dull

and the humdrum

of white picket fence,

marriage and children,

I want adventure

and I want what’s real,

not what society

tells me I should feel

like a lamb to the slaughter

because I’m literally nobody’s daughter

and no high priest will cure her

of her passion and desire

it burns like a fire

and she’s tired

of calling her internal flames

an emergency

when it’s only you

that sees it as hell

to want something different

than salivating to a bell

because I’m not a fucking dog

and I don’t respond on command

or care for your plans

of how I fit in your picture

because this is not a fixture

and you’re an eclipse,

you’re blocking my light

and I’m a once in a lifetime

so for the rest of mine

I think I’ll be just fine

without luck

because I create my own storyline

and if it’s yours

I’m done giving a fuck.

Trigger TV

Trigger TV

When even broken bones

burns

bite marks

internal injury

Her story

Her reality

is not considered worthy

neither for a charge

nor being found guilty,

when even without

Her words should be

Enough.

Maybe

if being an amputee

wasn’t internal

then you could see

as clearly

She wasn’t privy

to the memo

from the CPS and jury

about what constitutes believable,

since giving a reliable account

takes a PHD,

and to what degree

She just takes up your precious time

being angry.

Tell me,

is it as much

as he took Her body?

Goggle Jogging

Goggle Jogging

As your eyes

run down my body

and stop

at the top

of my thighs

it would be nice

if I could go ten minutes

without being objectified

as I’m trying to exercise;

I’m not interested

in catching fucking flies

so go take

your dick brain

someplace else for your fun,

my body

is no one’s matter for pleasure

unless it’s me

that’s the one

turned on.