That’s Not My Boyfriend

That’s Not My Boyfriend

Today was a good day

filled with self care

but still his thoughts

overwhelm him

more than he can bear

I see his point

when he tells me life isn’t fair

it’s a burden

he can’t shake to share

with a friend

as his mother tells me

that’s not like her son

and that’s not my boyfriend.

When he calls me in tears

with his anxious fears

thinking nobody hears

how alone he thinks he is

he’s been like this for months

he’s worried he’ll be like this for years

till his head will feel clear

in the end

but right now

that’s not my boyfriend.

He’s sliced through his arm

he’s covered in scars

he’s on a path of destruction

intent to do himself harm

he puts himself down

and pulls himself apart

lost sight of the talent

in the beauty of his art

to his bruised heart

I keep trying to mend

but my love

that’s not my boyfriend.

Last Thursday

police found him

stood on the edge

of a bridge

after he’d pledged

his intent

to work on his head

and I know

mental health

is far from easy to mend

but he deserves better,

because that’s not my boyfriend.

Trigger TV

Trigger TV

When even broken bones

burns

bite marks

internal injury

Her story

Her reality

is not considered worthy

neither for a charge

nor being found guilty,

when even without

Her words should be

Enough.

Maybe

if being an amputee

wasn’t internal

then you could see

as clearly

She wasn’t privy

to the memo

from the CPS and jury

about what constitutes believable,

since giving a reliable account

takes a PHD,

and to what degree

She just takes up your precious time

being angry.

Tell me,

is it as much

as he took Her body?

On Being Oneself

On Being Oneself

Saying

‘a flower doesn’t ask for permission to blossom

it just blooms’

is only half the story.

Neither does a flower ask

for permission to wilt and die

it just lets go.

You are allowed to blossom

just as much as you are allowed to wither,

for even in the garden of Eden

every flowering season contains

countless new lives

and countless deaths

yet it is still

defined Devine.

Colourblind

Colourblind

The world is grey

and I am numb

if not numb

I am drowning

if not drowning

I am suffocating

if not suffocating

I am lost

if not lost

I am found

with a razor in my hand

and an urge to press it down

to reclaim this body found

but if I am not bleeding red

the world is grey

and I am numb.