Red Shoes and Life Signs

Red Shoes and Life Signs

The famine started long before this soul could read,

letters giving way to patterns,

stolen colours mixed with second hand scraps

and fashioned as freedom.

A skin that falls away from the bones

to expose the starved sinews, weak from sneaking sensations

in all the wrong places.

Months spent as an empty shell

longing for the sea,

weighed down with sand and plastic wrappers;

cheap treasure, shallow digger.

All that tickles and thunders was buried deeper underground

but detecting only shadow signals

instinct gave way to injured impulse

and lay dying in final defence of the once courageous heart

who lost its rage to a captive life

in a weather-beaten cage and severed from the body,

power seeping out the cells into a muddy puddle on the floor.

But home is where the heart is,

even when it fights back at a crawl

this body will regrow limbs, applying medicines

to clot the blood back into these veins

and the whispers of the wild woman

will echo through each chamber of the heart,

breathing gulps of handmade air

just to howl at the moon.

Recapturing: Almscliffe Crag

Recapturing: Almscliffe Crag

Muddy boots, the sign of a good adventure

breeze-dried to my jeans.

It’s Christmas, and anyone who knows lonely

will know how much this means

to have hands to pull you up.

The wind gives me time to steady my feet,

mist lingering in earnest to softly kiss my cheeks

with afternoon colours, greys and greens and blues

and we could be on top of the world.

Now, more than ever,

I understand nature’s lesson;

a picture really is worth a thousand words.

Upgrade

Upgrade

Society these days

is always out

to sell you something;

shoving TV packages

down your throat

faster than you can

find the remote

to mute the sales jargon

for the sixty pound a month ‘bargain’

and they don’t even stop to listen

to you explain

you don’t own a TV.

People these days

are always out

to sell you something;

eager to compare themselves

to models not here anymore

you might not cold call me

but you still knock door to door

asking to be invited in

to feed me statistics

of how our potential partnership

could earn me so much more

whilst your boots

walk in mud

that now covers my floor.

But for all these selling tactics

I think I’d rather stay poor,

for every material upgrade leaves me

just as faulty as the one before.

Double Rainbow

Double Rainbow

Long for the calm

and the storm will arrive

in her place

as a reminder to brace

for the inevitable impact

of a life made

for neither the ordinary

nor for the faint-hearted

but marking the journey

from where the light first switched on

and to live

meant leaving

in exchange

for the pounding rhythm of freedom

and nowhere

did the universe

promise this would be easy

but we’d all die of thirst

without a little rain.

Suffocation Liberation

Suffocation Liberation

In moments of brief clarity

I come to see

what life could feel like

if I could just be

free

of all this crap in my head

that tells me

I’m not worthy

of the breath in my lungs

and the natural beauty

of my body

so, thus quiets my voice

since, if anything,

my past experiences

make me think I have no choice

no matter how much I fight

because karma

doesn’t give a shit

who is right

it still throws you off the plane

at a height

and expects you to fly,

hence the saying

‘live and let die’

but I want this life

to be lived to the full

of all that’s uncomfortable

and of the joyful

because I will not settle

for the dull

and the humdrum

of white picket fence,

marriage and children,

I want adventure

and I want what’s real,

not what society

tells me I should feel

like a lamb to the slaughter

because I’m literally nobody’s daughter

and no high priest will cure her

of her passion and desire

it burns like a fire

and she’s tired

of calling her internal flames

an emergency

when it’s only you

that sees it as hell

to want something different

than salivating to a bell

because I’m not a fucking dog

and I don’t respond on command

or care for your plans

of how I fit in your picture

because this is not a fixture

and you’re an eclipse,

you’re blocking my light

and I’m a once in a lifetime

so for the rest of mine

I think I’ll be just fine

without luck

because I create my own storyline

and if it’s yours

I’m done giving a fuck.