Suffocation Liberation

Suffocation Liberation

In moments of brief clarity

I come to see

what life could feel like

if I could just be

free

of all this crap in my head

that tells me

I’m not worthy

of the breath in my lungs

and the natural beauty

of my body

so, thus quiets my voice

since, if anything,

my past experiences

make me think I have no choice

no matter how much I fight

because karma

doesn’t give a shit

who is right

it still throws you off the plane

at a height

and expects you to fly,

hence the saying

‘live and let die’

but I want this life

to be lived to the full

of all that’s uncomfortable

and of the joyful

because I will not settle

for the dull

and the humdrum

of white picket fence,

marriage and children,

I want adventure

and I want what’s real,

not what society

tells me I should feel

like a lamb to the slaughter

because I’m literally nobody’s daughter

and no high priest will cure her

of her passion and desire

it burns like a fire

and she’s tired

of calling her internal flames

an emergency

when it’s only you

that sees it as hell

to want something different

than salivating to a bell

because I’m not a fucking dog

and I don’t respond on command

or care for your plans

of how I fit in your picture

because this is not a fixture

and you’re an eclipse,

you’re blocking my light

and I’m a once in a lifetime

so for the rest of mine

I think I’ll be just fine

without luck

because I create my own storyline

and if it’s yours

I’m done giving a fuck.

“At Least We Tried”

“At Least We Tried”

At times I come across a soul

so quick to bring me down

I wonder what their story is

and what joy they have found

in superficial conflicts

or actions brought of anger,

how do they think

that will make the world a better

place, for us to live on together?

Hearts closed to the bigger picture

this is how they respond to the suffering

of others, by increasing the fracture

till we’re all just single broken bones

in a human body,

dysfunctional vessels

for a collective heart heavy.

Spreading the disease

of jumping to the worst assumptions

about another human heart

without knowing its best intentions.

But love is a doing word

so let’s all keep in mind

that in a world already tough enough

at least we tried being kind.

Believe It Or Knot

Believe It Or Knot

The first knot

I came across

was that of a bow,

checkered ribbons on show

exchanging laces for Velcro

and point shoes on tip toe

as every growing girl should know

that shoes can make your feet bleed

as long as you look pretty.

At 15 I learned the hangman’s noose

wasn’t just a game

when the lack of mental health support for young people

showed me how it’s played,

I’m still not sure who won

when for months I couldn’t sleep

without the light on

as depression became a lesson

for our school of life curriculum.

As a young woman

I was tied to the highwayman,

made so insecure

by our bodies viewed

for trivial use

then our brains dumped at the back door

for refusing to copy the women in porn

as society manufactures more

unrealistic expectations for our pubes.

What the media forgot to tell my younger self

was I’m allowed to feel good naked

so here’s where I heard

of the barrel sling

and how BDSM, like all sex, is a consensual thing,

and that he may be good at flirting

but no amount of fucking

will make up for the orgasms you are missing

because you think you have to fake it.

I think the one known as common whipping

describes all the ways

we’re taught to tie ourselves in knots

for fear of getting frayed

so we don’t take the road less travelled

because we’re so afraid

of all our flaws being on display,

we forget that being unravelled

is to give ourselves away.

For there exists a social structure

which tries to doubly constrict your voice

by telling you how you should be

then criticising you like there was a choice

and amidst all the white noise

that says you’re already free,

remember even falconers

keep the most powerful birds of prey

tethered to their perches

caged to a piece of tree.

So check yourselves for knots

and run fast towards the sea.