It started about a year earlier
when you didn’t even want to hold me anymore
and it seemed clear it was my responsibility to make things better.
An old flame,
I orchestrated bumping into him at work
a year before that;
still lying to myself about when it really started.
He was only after one thing,
always had been,
but I was okay with that,
wanting little from him either
besides the knowledge that at least I was attractive to someone else
and he paid me attention.
I pretended I was going to a meet up with old friends,
but we caught a movie then went back to his place.
It didn’t take long,
like diving into a frozen lake
but they do wonders for waking you up
and it gave me what I needed to leave you.
My recompense for only being a little bit sorry.